He said, “Will you marry me?”
You said, “Yes, of course, I will marry you!”
And so began this journey of planning a wedding, not just any wedding, but the most important wedding of all, your wedding!
I am sure that on the day he proposed you had thoughts of how wonderful your life together would be. And it will be, if you work at it. Marriage is like anything else, if you want it to be wonderful; you have to give it your all. A dear friend of mine, many years ago when I was engaged, gave me some sage advice. She said, “Honey, everyone is going to tell you that marriage is a 50-50 proposition. Don’t you believe it. If you aren’t willing to give 100%, it won’t work.”
Wow. My husband and I will celebrate our 43 anniversary next week. I have never forgotten her advice and I have always tried to live by it. For the most part, I think its working.
But that isn’t what I want to visit with you about today. Before the bliss of the wedding, comes the sometimes overwhelming, stress creating, planning of the wedding. There are so many things to do. The size and style of the wedding can either make it easier or more stressful.
You have all these things to juggle, and you expect that your fiancé will be by your side as you pick out the cake, and meet with the vendors, and do all the things that are necessary to make your ‘little girl dreams’ of your wedding come true. But, now he tells you that he can’t get away from work to meet with this vendor or that one. His schedule has just gotten busier; you are going to have to ‘handle it’.
The “stress-o-meter” is climbing. But Mom and your best friend are there to step in for him and help you with the details. Uh oh, Mom seems to be a little stressed as well as she thinks about her baby girl leaving the nest. But she tries really hard to hold back the tears that seem to come unbidden at any given moment.
There is one other source you can turn to in this stressful time. A Wedding Planner / Consultant. When you meet with a Wedding Planner and share your dreams for this wedding, they can help you make those dreams come true and take some of the stress off of you. They can arrange all those little details for you. They can take your ideas and bring you back a few choices to look at. You don’t have to do all the leg work.
Making choices can seem overwhelming. I knew a lady once who wanted to redo her kitchen cupboards. She called every supplier in a nearby town to get prices for the project. There were many suppliers. First, it took a long time to reach out to each supplier and get their information. Then, she had to work her way through all of that information to make her choice. Wouldn’t it have been simpler if a trusted friend, who knew what she wanted to achieve, had done the research and brought her 2-3 choices to look at, knowing that each of those choices would achieve the desired results.
Your Wedding Planner can be that trusted friend.
Down goes the ‘stress-o-meter’. Now, instead of being constantly stressed about the wedding, you are able to begin enjoying the preparations for your magical day.
A good Wedding Planner / Consultant wants you to have the wedding of your dreams.
Here are some areas in which they can help:
- Budgeting – In my recent post
(link to http://regina-atthelake.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-evolving-wedding-budget.html) I discussed how wedding budgets have changed and who pays for the wedding. The Planner can help you realistically look at your budget so that you aren’t going into debt to pay for the wedding.
- The Guest List – This can be one of the most difficult parts of the planning process. Sometimes hard decisions have to be made about who to invite. Even when couples and their families get along well, difficulties can arise when everyone starts giving their advice. Someone needs to step in and make the tough decisions. It is easier for the consultant to do it, rather than the bride or the groom, especially if it may cause hurt feelings.
- Response Cards – You can actually have the consultant’s address on the response card so that the response goes directly to the consultant. She (he) is then able to accurately track the count and can even call those who haven’t responded by the deadline date. This can eliminate a great deal of stress for the couple and their families. An accurate response count can save a considerable amount of money for those who are paying the bills, especially in the area of catering. Caterers charge for a certain number of guests, regardless of whether they show up or not.
- Vendors – Most consultants will have a list of vendors for you to choose from. Usually, the list will cover a variety of price ranges on the vendors.
- Vendor Contracts – Having a contract or a letter of agreement which describes the merchandise and /or services to be provided by that vendor can provide peace of mind. It helps to reduce the possibility of misunderstandings. If by chance something does go wrong, you have a written contract to fall back on to renegotiate. Your consultant can help you with these.
- Wedding Attire – Your consultant can help you understand how to get the best deals on your wedding attire, the best ways to pay for them, and the information you need to have in hand when you order the attire.
- The Rehearsal – A good rehearsal helps everyone relax, enjoy themselves, and know that the wedding will be beautiful and fun.
- The Rehearsal Dinner – Time to party. This is the last chance for the couple to relax until after the ceremony and reception.
- The Wedding Ceremony – This is the most important part of the wedding day. And their will be stresses that occur before it. However, as a minister friend of mine says, “after the ceremony you will be just as married even if everything doesn’t go as perfectly as you hoped”. No matter what happens during the exchange of vows – being too choked up to speak or forgotten words – the ceremony is still beautiful and meaningful.
- The Reception – Now is the time for the bride and groom to celebrate their joy, love and happiness with all their family and friends. It’s the consultant’s job to make sure everything happens effortlessly.
In case it isn’t clear why you might want to hire a bridal consultant, let me share a couple more items.
- Personal and family complications can be eased.
- Confusion about etiquette can be eliminated.
- The issue of not having enough time to do everything is resolved.
- Distance – sometimes the bride lives in another part of the state or country from where the wedding will take place. Having someone on the local scene to help manage the daily planning details can relieve a lot of stress.
I hope that any wedding you are planning, or helping to plan goes, off beautifully and just as you dreamed it would. However, don’t be afraid to reach out to a Bridal Consultant and have a consultation with them to see how they can help you. Many consultant’s do a first consultation free of charge. And you can customize the aspects of the wedding where you would like their assistance.